Universe, it is your move!

Universe, it is your move!

 

 

Dear world, dear universe, dear stars, dear cosmos,

Dear astronomy,

 

A beacon of light since my childhood,

Astronomy,

You have carried me through

 

When the circumstances around me were dark and did not make sense,

My child self found the solace and predictable in you,

as well as the amazing, the sublime, the mesmerizing

 

Challenges came,

passion survived,

Sparks never got extinguished for you

 

 

Long separation after a fateful night,

and yet years later I came back into your orbit slowly, like a grain of dust spiraling into the supermassive black hole, beyond the point of no return

 

 

So many years apart also as my family immigrated,

my education was fructured or interrupted

I worked a million and one jobs to survive,

and I would repeat that in a heartbeat for my family,

but yet still Universe, you smiled at me and gave me a chance

 

 

As a mature student to plunge full force into astronomy

And I gave up everything for this path, didn’t I?

What challenges we have faced together?

I always stood back up and moved forward towards the goal

 

 

And yet today, I have no moves left

A cosmic scale tragedy for my life

Every vein severed

Every attempt failed

 

 

Is this the end?

 

 

I am no longer the only one to subject the pain of pursuit to

I have kids, I have a family

Once I troubled with moving with me for you, and that was devastating

How can I do that again to them?

 

Not for a childhood dream

Not for all the stars, not for all the galaxies

My hands are tied

 

 

I cry into the cosmos

I bare my soul

 

It is your move, Universe,

I have no strength left,

No light, no path, no door I see

 

It is your move, Universe,

and I will bear it with dignity

 

 

 

 

Dear friend, I have recently encountered yet another wave of struggles in my career as an astronomer, but since I have a family with young kids, the options are extremely limited, and perhaps it is a good-bye to a career in astronomy, which is a devastating crush of cosmic proportions for my inner world.

 

 

I have had the blessing to tap into my childhood imagniary story, where my passion for astronomy was pure, and have this unpolished draft to share with you. I am polishing and editing to bring it to its completed form, but let the raw pages already see the light of the world.

 

About the book

 

The magic of Frascati brought an imagined story of more than 20+ years into a book, at the moment in editing stage. It also provided to me a personal moment to plunge into memories of my childhood, while waves of homesickness washed on my spirit’s shores this year.

 

I had the privilege to find myself in a creative immersion through which a book has been materialized.

The ideas were conceived from when I was around 10 years old, last year I jotted down the main plot points,

and in the last month or so, as I sat down to write what I thought to be a 10-12 page long fairytale,

my imagination transcended my spirit to the intense heights of creation which I had never experienced before.

 

I hope you can appreciate the shine of the astronomy in the book as you read.

 

I am sharing with you a very raw draft, with many sections still unpolished.

The editing might take a while, and since even the next breath of mine is not in my hands,

I wished to share the book for your amusement

 

Zumri draft, (note it is a living document, but you can take a snapshot by saving a PDF if you wish)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZA4_bmIPsdpDtICz5BwgAmgHbiXm_xaNXT9ioLbHmfw/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 

Sincerely,

Your astronomer